There are many factors that influence the modern human’s journey to happiness. Happiness is often defined as a feeling of excitement, satisfaction, or contentment with life, and each person may have their own understanding of this.
However, happiness is often described as an emotion associated with positivity. Factors such as innate personality, optimism, or a favorable educational environment can influence the ability to feel happy, but there is one factor that anyone can build and maintain: relationships. Relationships are a key factor in achieving lasting happiness. Even people with “negative genes” or born into unfavorable environments can still find happiness if they know how to build and maintain healthy social relationships.
The instinct to connect socially is in our genes and plays an essential role in our sense of happiness.
The Harvard Longitudinal Study, which began in 1938 and lasted for over 74 years, tracked the psychology and health of 724 participants and found that people with healthy social relationships were happier. Humans, being social creatures by nature, have formed tribes since prehistoric times to live together, forage, protect, and care for each other. Being isolated from a tribe can lead to a risk of death, proving that social connection is an important survival skill.
Although the “connection gene” still exists in us and promotes social behavior, in today’s fast-paced life, the value of relationships is gradually being reduced, affecting the sense of happiness of many people.
People today are becoming less connected, partly due to the strong development of the Internet and social networks.
The advent of online platforms has caused many people to seek virtual values rather than real relationships. According to author Caroline Beaton in Psychology Today, many people are now trying to replace real relationships with virtual ones. Although we can connect online with hundreds of people we have never met, these connections are often superficial, leading to dissatisfaction and a loss of trust in real social relationships. At the same time, the presence of technology also reduces the quality of conversation; how many times have you witnessed a coffee date that ends with everyone staring at their smartphones?
In addition, the phenomenon of “dependency shift” plays a role. The internet provides endless resources, allowing us to easily find information without having to rely on others. Steven Van Cohen shared that when he had a problem like fixing a faucet, he would ask his dad or a repairman for help. Today, he can look it up on YouTube and feels less dependent on anyone. While this makes us more independent, it also leads to feelings of loneliness and reduced social interaction. It is important that, even if you are independent, don’t be afraid to ask for help from others when you need it, as it is an important way to build and maintain relationships.
Of course, technological advancements are not the only cause of loneliness. Feelings of emptiness and isolation can also stem from the rise of individualism, globalization, job competition, and peer pressure. In an increasingly demanding world, the younger generation is the most vulnerable group, as they lack experience and deep relationships.
To cope with loneliness and find happiness, young people should try to slow down, spend time improving existing relationships, and proactively seek new healthy connections. Starting with the people around you can be an important first step in the journey to finding happiness and building a meaningful life.
